Oh, how I have dreamed of this day...
"Mr. Tentacles, Professor of Art."
What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom.
Bring me your huddled masses of bored housewives
and I will shape them in my image.
I'll go down in history.
Someday, there will be a wing with my name on it
in all the museums of the world!
Dude, you're teaching art at the rec center.
Calm down.
Uncultured trash urchin.
9:00 a.m.
Time to let the class in.
Well, don't want to keep them waiting any longer.
I'm so excited about this...
Welcome to art class!
Oh, isn't this "Cooking"?
Sorry.
Oh, never mind.
Hi, Squidward.
Are you taking this art class, too?
SpongeBob?
In art class!
Wait! This is Cooking.
Come back!
You've got to be kidding.
This is great!
You and me in school together.
So, where's the teacher?
You're looking at him.
You are the "Teacher"
to my "Pupil"?
This isn't art class.
It's heaven.
Yeah.
Grab a little piece of heaven
and let's get on with it.
I'm ready... Mr. Tentacles.
So... you want to be an artist, eh, SpongeBob?
Yes, please.
Well, art is not all fun and games.
It's a lot of hard work.
Okay, first, repeat after me.
I have no talent.
Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
lf I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles' talent
may rub off on me.
If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.
Whatever.
Okay, since you're telling me you have no prior training,
we'll have to start from square one
or should I say, circle one?
( chuckles )
Am I going too fast for you, SpongeBob?
How's this, Squidward?
What the... how the...
A perfect circle?
Do it again.
Show your process.
Well, first I draw this head.
Then I erased some of the more detailed features.
And one, two, three...
a circle thingy.
Give me that.
Forget the circles!
Oh, nice one, Squidward.
Let me try.
Oh, lookey, Squidward.
It's you and me playing leapfrog.
That's you on the bottom.
Give me that.
There is nothing artistic about leapfrog.
What are you doing now?
I call it rippy bits.
You take a bunch of old, ripped-up paper
and you make a new picture.
See, you're on... top... this time.
Do you want to learn art or not?
I'm sorry, Squidward... l'll listen.
All right, SpongeBob, pay close attention.
Look at your marble.
Visualize the sculpture within.
Then... gently...
How's this, Squidward?
It's beautiful.
I mean...
This isn't a sculpture!
A good sculpture takes... more time.
You can't just sculpt willy-nilly.
You've got to go by the book...
follow the rules.
Otherwise you'll never get past amateur hour here.
Besides, you got the nose wrong.
There.
Now it's art.
Oh, it's so obvious.
I would have never thought of that.
I'm sorry, Squidward.
I came here to learn
and I arrogantly shunned your lessons.
I'll never be a great artist like you.
I don't deserve your tutoring.
I don't deserve to be in your presence.
I don't even deserve to use your doors.
Hello, there.
SPONGEBOB: But I did deserve that.
I deserved that, too.
And I deserve this.
Good day, sir.
Sorry, class is dismissed.
You're too late.
Oh, I beg your pardon,
but I'd forgotten my manners.
My name is Monty P. Moneybags.
The world-famous art collector?
The one and only.
Well, what are you doing here?
I'm on a shopping spree,
buying art for my new museum.
Your search is over.
I am Bikini Bottom's greatest artiste.
l call this one Squidward in Repose.
I... don't think that will fit in
with the other pieces in my collection.
Why not?
Because it's an art collection.
( laughs )
How about this one?
I call it Bold and Brash.
More like... Belongs in the Trash.
( laughing )
Sorry, I must have missed that one.
( sighs )
Maybe I should be...
Huh?
What is that?!
Wait, wait.
That's not...
Angelic form.
Amazing detail.
Perfect censorship.
This is the work of a true genius.
Hello.
What's this?
This is the only flaw.
Ah... that's more like it.
I simply must find the artist responsible.
He shall have fame.
Fame.
Fortune.
Anything his heart desires.
Anything?
It's me.
I'm responsible.
I can see it now... your name
in the world's most prestigious museums.
I am going to make you immortal!
Now, help me get this in the car.
I could use a little help.
My fame!
My fortune!
My hair!
Well, that's a bit of bad luck right there.
But this shouldn't be a problem
for an artist of your magnitude.
You can whip up another one.
Yeah... no problem.
You know, between you and me,
this isn't my best work.
Why don't you come back tomorrow
and I'll have something
that will really knock your socks off?
Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks.
Yeah, no socks.
That's fine, but...
Okay, see you tomorrow.
Bye.
I've got to find SpongeBob!
SpongeBob.
SpongeBob!
SPONGEBOB: Go away, Squidward.
I don't deserve your kindness.
Hey, cheer up.
I have decided to give you another chance.
Why, with a great teacher like me
anything is possible.
Don't look at me, Squidward.
Don't look at my shame.
These hands weren't meant to create.
They only destroy.
I can't look at them.
Oh, come on, SpongeBob.
You've got yourself a pair of yellow dandies here,
and with my help,
we'll turn them into tools of beauty.
Really?
Really.
Really?
Really.
Really?
Really.
Wow.
Really?
Let's go.
Squidward, look!
It's old Bold and Brash.
Give me that.
Okay, SpongeBob.
Just do what you did before.
I can't.
Wait, wait.
Let me help.
Let's start with the circle again.
I did it, Squidward.
Huh?
But what about the head
and the erasing, and the...
l don't know... that stuff's not in the book.
Uh...
How about this, huh?
Remember?
That's not in the book either.
Forget about the book!
Look at all this mess, SpongeBob.
What do all these little bits of paper
make you want to do?
Wait, I know this.
Oh, wait, I think I got it.
There you go.
Yes! Ta-dah!
Okay, SpongeBob.
Let's just move on to the marble.
First, an artist must concentrate
and visualize his concept.
Now you've got it.
I've got to embrace the marble.
Right.
I've got to sniff the marble.
Well... okay.
I've got to lick the marble.
Uh...
I've got to wash the marble.
I've got to date the marble.
I've got to be the marble.
I've got it!
I have seen the sculpture within.
Here you go, Buddy.
With this tool, I shall give birth to art.
Oh, boy.
One more thing.
There.
Now it's art.
Well, what do you think, Squidward?
Just take it all in for a moment.
Let it soak in.
( squawking and screeching )
It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph
is too much for Squidward.
Oh, well, back to the dump.
♪ To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump ♪
♪ To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump. ♪
( squawking and screeching )
I'm here for the...
What the...?
Who's responsible for this?!
As of now, it's his responsibility.
Good day to you, sir!
You, sir,
are the greatest artist
who ever lived!